The Concuspidor:

I am the Concuspidor!

If I pace the approach right, by the time I get to the front, every head will be turned, every conversation left hanging... ladies will whisper and gasp daintily behind their fans... gentlemen will fidget with inadequacy and look at their shoes. I am the Concuspidor! And whenever I enter the Court, excitement goes on ahead; when I leave, admiration follows. And today, I am about to surpass even my most unsurpassable performances. I feel quite giddy with the splendidness of it all.

Prepare to astonish!